ruchigup
02-09 03:26 PM
Life is about compromise and you are right it is hurtful to the future of baby who don't realize what is going on. Baby really need both Mom and Dad, pls try to explain this to your wife.
About cutting off with parents, she can chose not to talk to your parents and/or you can chose not to talk to her parents if things are not right. But forcing to breakup with own parents is utterly wrong and unacceptable. You can try to explain this to your wife.
This is your side of story "She started harassing them too by saying something or other. " and you must remember there is something called postpartum depression which Indian parents in-laws don't understand when they come for their daughter-in-laws delivery. I have heard few other cases when things went really bad after delivery.
Try to explain her that she and child are your first priority. I am sure you have tried to do this many times, try few times more. If talking results in a fight, try sending a long thoughtful email (make sure any of it can't be used against you if things still don't get better, probably you can use it in your favor if needed about the efforts you put in to improve). Before even thinking about divorce try to give life a 2nd chance and may be 3rd chance.
I must say that it is hard to believe that in this whole thing you/your parents didn't do anything wrong and one fine day your wife went nuts. Try to analyze yourself too.
These things are very depressing and sad and only the one who goes through it understands. Easier to give advice.
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
About cutting off with parents, she can chose not to talk to your parents and/or you can chose not to talk to her parents if things are not right. But forcing to breakup with own parents is utterly wrong and unacceptable. You can try to explain this to your wife.
This is your side of story "She started harassing them too by saying something or other. " and you must remember there is something called postpartum depression which Indian parents in-laws don't understand when they come for their daughter-in-laws delivery. I have heard few other cases when things went really bad after delivery.
Try to explain her that she and child are your first priority. I am sure you have tried to do this many times, try few times more. If talking results in a fight, try sending a long thoughtful email (make sure any of it can't be used against you if things still don't get better, probably you can use it in your favor if needed about the efforts you put in to improve). Before even thinking about divorce try to give life a 2nd chance and may be 3rd chance.
I must say that it is hard to believe that in this whole thing you/your parents didn't do anything wrong and one fine day your wife went nuts. Try to analyze yourself too.
These things are very depressing and sad and only the one who goes through it understands. Easier to give advice.
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
for_gc
12-26 02:53 PM
Not sure good or bad. but this is sure some news.
amitjoey
07-18 09:51 PM
Thanks a bunch for all of you who contributed today, I read each and every post and felt very content that atleast there are people who feel the same way like I feel. IV is the only org that stands for us. It is time to strengthen it, Most of you have no idea how much money is really needed for lobbying, and how far it can take us if each of us contributed a little every month.
Minimum $50/month.
Minimum $50/month.
ars01
01-07 02:41 PM
My wife is still waiting for the AP. The receipt notice gives August 6 as the receipt date. She called USCIS last Tuesday and was told that USCIS is running really slow and is taking 180 days to process APs. The lady she spoke to asked my wife to call back after "it is 180 days past her notice date". Her 180 days will complete on February 6. We have postponed out travel plans several times.
more...
Libra
09-10 04:55 PM
thank you.
I contributed whatever I can. Please contribute your part.
I contributed whatever I can. Please contribute your part.
qualified_trash
06-01 10:00 AM
she is not stupid!! she is right. Your GC and H1 is being sponsored by the employer not by you. All documents etc are indeed the property of the employer. It is the employer's responsibility to keep you updated of any changes in your status.
more...
eb3_nepa
07-05 01:19 PM
People Instead of "PREDICTING" what will happen in Oct 2007, Call and FAX Now!!
My local Congressman's office was very sympathetic and will look into it. Unless you make a noise, no one will hear you or even care.
My local Congressman's office was very sympathetic and will look into it. Unless you make a noise, no one will hear you or even care.
mirage
08-04 03:38 PM
I'm not getting what's your point. All I am telling this guy and others that I need some statistics and why it is important to me. People who like my point will write them and people who will not like my point but still have the problem will modify the letter accordingly and people who should not care since they are not affected should just ignore this thread and move....
Did you go over points raised by internet in this post
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showpost.php?p=271211&postcount=12
Did you go over points raised by internet in this post
http://immigrationvoice.org/forum/showpost.php?p=271211&postcount=12
more...
McLuvin
10-22 09:47 AM
What is the average time frame for this whole process??
Lets say once the company approves for the porting process....
What is the average time involved for processing, PWD, adv., then perm filing/approval...
Anyone who had gone through and had experience.. pls share...
BR,
McLuvin
Lets say once the company approves for the porting process....
What is the average time involved for processing, PWD, adv., then perm filing/approval...
Anyone who had gone through and had experience.. pls share...
BR,
McLuvin
Milind123
09-17 12:51 PM
Enough of serious talk. Lets all have a lighter moment. Chandu, and others, thanks for all the hard work you have put in. Please take a moment to enjoy this joke. It contains the word sex, yet is very clean.
A 11 year old boy goes to his dad and asks �Daddy what is sex?�. Poor daddy was not prepared to face this sudden unexpected question. Anyways, he gathers himself and replies back �Son, this is going to take sometime to explain. Why don�t we go to McDonald�s for lunch.� As they are driving to McDee�s, the father is trying to rearrange his thoughts to answer his son�s question. They have a nice lunch and the father is finally able to answer his son�s question using the birds and the bees as examples (at this time the two bees at the coke machine are probably complaining to each other, why all fathers never talk about the actual characters). Anyway, after listening to his father speak. The son replies back, drawing out a piece of paper �It is still confusing to me. How do I fit all that in this tiny box.� On the piece of paper are two boxes with M and F next to it.
Contributions are welcome if you enjoyed it and also believe in IV efforts.
A 11 year old boy goes to his dad and asks �Daddy what is sex?�. Poor daddy was not prepared to face this sudden unexpected question. Anyways, he gathers himself and replies back �Son, this is going to take sometime to explain. Why don�t we go to McDonald�s for lunch.� As they are driving to McDee�s, the father is trying to rearrange his thoughts to answer his son�s question. They have a nice lunch and the father is finally able to answer his son�s question using the birds and the bees as examples (at this time the two bees at the coke machine are probably complaining to each other, why all fathers never talk about the actual characters). Anyway, after listening to his father speak. The son replies back, drawing out a piece of paper �It is still confusing to me. How do I fit all that in this tiny box.� On the piece of paper are two boxes with M and F next to it.
Contributions are welcome if you enjoyed it and also believe in IV efforts.
more...
smuggymba
08-12 03:49 PM
There are lot of good/standard consulting companies ... Some are 'con' but they can't create massive impact , however the MNC's do MANIPULATION at a large scale.
I believe that small companies have a big impact too. As someone mentioned, check to see which companies filed GCs in the last 10 years....Infy, TCS or Small body shops?
I believe that small companies have a big impact too. As someone mentioned, check to see which companies filed GCs in the last 10 years....Infy, TCS or Small body shops?
kumar1
08-20 11:28 PM
Missouri story - I was sent home by DMV office, reason, I was not carrying my latest Pay stubs. I hate these Midwestern states...they were sleeping before 9/11 and suddenly woke up and squeezed their asses. Can you imagine, ignorant DMV in Missouri gave me DL on B1/B2 visa in 2000? I showed them Passport as proof#1 and US visa as proof#2 and ignorant officer said...you are good to go! Now 7 years later, it is written in bold over there....
ONLY US CITIZENS walk away with DMV, rest everyone go through USCIS.
Just like in a desi shop in arm pit state New Jersey I saw this..."IN GOD WE TRUST, REST EVERYONE PAY CASH"
I knew I will have issues with DMV so I paid extra 1000 to get H1B premium and retained my privilege to drive. Believe me guys....this is America.....spend more...save more!
ONLY US CITIZENS walk away with DMV, rest everyone go through USCIS.
Just like in a desi shop in arm pit state New Jersey I saw this..."IN GOD WE TRUST, REST EVERYONE PAY CASH"
I knew I will have issues with DMV so I paid extra 1000 to get H1B premium and retained my privilege to drive. Believe me guys....this is America.....spend more...save more!
more...
black_logs
04-25 08:46 AM
It is a very good idea. Countries which gives Permanent Residency based on the numbers of years stayed, I believe that is what they must be considering as priority date. U.S. immigration system was discovered by Einsteins & Newtons; There are 1000's fo laws & regulation. And look what's the outcome. A person could be waiting for 10 years and another person can get it right away if he/she can find a good old labor :) :) :) :D :D :o :o :mad: :mad:
Does it make sense to request for first arrival date to be considered as the priority date for immigration purposes? Just a thought!!!
Does it make sense to request for first arrival date to be considered as the priority date for immigration purposes? Just a thought!!!
swede
04-03 08:58 AM
RIR EB3, filed in PA. Now in Philladelphia BEC
PD Dec 2002
45 days letter received May 2005
My 6 year H1B expire in Aug 2006
:(
PD Dec 2002
45 days letter received May 2005
My 6 year H1B expire in Aug 2006
:(
more...
abhijitp
07-06 02:48 PM
We should learn something from USCIS.. If they have worked hard for 48 hours on last weekend, we should work more this weekend and do whatever we can to help core members.
__________________________________________________ ______________
I second that!
__________________________________________________ ______________
I second that!
ind_game
05-15 11:01 AM
dear members,
please post ideas on how we can all collectively address such issues. We have to spread awareness, get attention from law makers, remove the fear instilled into minds of people, guide people in the right direction.
Ideas and suggestions are welcome.
I would say we should start with local congressional office. Every case whether it is resolved or not should be taken to the attention of local congressional office.
If members volunteer to do this, we could distribute districts among ourselves and take care of each district's congressional office. In that way we could raise the awareness among the lawmakers. I do agree that not every office will be friendly to immigrants like my district's congressional office, but we have to try.
please post ideas on how we can all collectively address such issues. We have to spread awareness, get attention from law makers, remove the fear instilled into minds of people, guide people in the right direction.
Ideas and suggestions are welcome.
I would say we should start with local congressional office. Every case whether it is resolved or not should be taken to the attention of local congressional office.
If members volunteer to do this, we could distribute districts among ourselves and take care of each district's congressional office. In that way we could raise the awareness among the lawmakers. I do agree that not every office will be friendly to immigrants like my district's congressional office, but we have to try.
more...
micofrost
07-06 01:38 PM
For sure DoS knew that something is wrong at USCIS end. Looks like they dint get along well on this one. So instead of saying that all the visa numbers has been used up, they said " all the entire 2007 numbers has been made available". Which means they know very well USCIS are still processing the cases, even after July 2nd.
Looks like, DOS trying to clean their hands and put the blame on USCIS.
This is what happened. Again my thoughts based on last fews days before the july 2nd.
USCIS was angered by DOS making it current for all categories. Every one knows there will be a minimum 100K apps flooding their gates. Imagine the revenue loss for them just bcoz of making it current b4 30th july. They expected DOS to make it current from Aug 1st instead of July 1st. Had the immigration bill passed, as promised by the GOVT., they would have stand to gain $4B in grants to secure the border. But the bill crashed on 27th of june. So what do they do to stop this loss of revenue from our application. They have to use of the entire fiscal 2007 quota in three days so that legally they can't accept more applications. Now that is legally correct. But they way they claimed all the visas within 4 days wasn't played by the rules and where the AILF stands chance to file a lawsuit against them.
Someone in the USCIS was hell bent upon forcing the DOS to make it unavailable for July. WHY ?
Looks like, DOS trying to clean their hands and put the blame on USCIS.
This is what happened. Again my thoughts based on last fews days before the july 2nd.
USCIS was angered by DOS making it current for all categories. Every one knows there will be a minimum 100K apps flooding their gates. Imagine the revenue loss for them just bcoz of making it current b4 30th july. They expected DOS to make it current from Aug 1st instead of July 1st. Had the immigration bill passed, as promised by the GOVT., they would have stand to gain $4B in grants to secure the border. But the bill crashed on 27th of june. So what do they do to stop this loss of revenue from our application. They have to use of the entire fiscal 2007 quota in three days so that legally they can't accept more applications. Now that is legally correct. But they way they claimed all the visas within 4 days wasn't played by the rules and where the AILF stands chance to file a lawsuit against them.
Someone in the USCIS was hell bent upon forcing the DOS to make it unavailable for July. WHY ?
InTheMoment
07-18 02:23 PM
Yes..a fairly correct and concise way of putting it !:)
So now guys realize how RD becomes crucial within the PD current window !
If the window is too current say 06/07 than it may not be fair to older PD's
if it around 2003 the window is not too wide and quotient of fairness increases.
He is absolutely correct. 485 Processing would start depending on RD (Receipt Date). But at the time of approval PD should be current and if it is current then the applicant whose RD (Receipt Date) is oldest would get the approval first.
So now guys realize how RD becomes crucial within the PD current window !
If the window is too current say 06/07 than it may not be fair to older PD's
if it around 2003 the window is not too wide and quotient of fairness increases.
He is absolutely correct. 485 Processing would start depending on RD (Receipt Date). But at the time of approval PD should be current and if it is current then the applicant whose RD (Receipt Date) is oldest would get the approval first.
she81
08-13 04:54 PM
But why should we lose the PD that we've been hanging on to for so long. For all we know, they might retrogress EB2 next - with USCIS, there's no room to take chances. I'm on my 10th yr here and don't want anything to go wrong at this point.
loudobbs
09-10 09:25 AM
meant to say not illegal immigrants....:o:o
and i am NOT the real Lou Dobbs. But in all seriousness guys, I think we really have to wake up. We are not illegal immigrants....
And we are not asking for Amnesty...
There is no deying the fact that this country has benefited from us much than us. How about some moral abligation and sense of fairness from this great country???
and i am NOT the real Lou Dobbs. But in all seriousness guys, I think we really have to wake up. We are not illegal immigrants....
And we are not asking for Amnesty...
There is no deying the fact that this country has benefited from us much than us. How about some moral abligation and sense of fairness from this great country???
lazycis
11-20 10:26 PM
I am not 100% sure but if person has not completed 6 years, he can continue till he completes 6 years. If person has already crossed 6 years limit, H1 extension or transfer does not stand valid without any underlying pending AOS. This is what RG termed as opposite to conventional internet wisdom. Also, the law requires to provide a notice to cancel EAD, but not to cancel H1B. Correct me if I am wrong!
Ron is absolutely right regarding H1 extensions past 6 years! If I-485 is denied, the extension cannot be granted (we all know that USCIS may still approve it, but if they follow AC21 guidance, they should not). As for cancelling H1, the law does require USCIS to provide notice in one case: if it determines that H1 holder is no longer working for the sponsoring employer. We already discussed automatic revocation scenarios.
See also this explanation from Fragomen (I know, I know, they are bad, but read anyway):
http://pubweb.fdbl.com/news1.nsf/9abe5d703b986cff86256e310080943a/8cda1a2a9589440c8525746d00574cf9?OpenDocument
Ron is absolutely right regarding H1 extensions past 6 years! If I-485 is denied, the extension cannot be granted (we all know that USCIS may still approve it, but if they follow AC21 guidance, they should not). As for cancelling H1, the law does require USCIS to provide notice in one case: if it determines that H1 holder is no longer working for the sponsoring employer. We already discussed automatic revocation scenarios.
See also this explanation from Fragomen (I know, I know, they are bad, but read anyway):
http://pubweb.fdbl.com/news1.nsf/9abe5d703b986cff86256e310080943a/8cda1a2a9589440c8525746d00574cf9?OpenDocument
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